August 18, 2004

Me And Who I Am

… So I am told
That there is no Mrs. Right
The future is foretold
There is no darkness as there is no light

Sitting alone in this corner
As lonely as I can be
Trying to make out my life
And how I would love for it to seem

And as I write these words
To someone I don’t even know
I just think back on my life
And how it goes

Why live life
When you can’t achieve your dreams?
Why even bother
When all your life is full of sorrows and you’re never pleased?

I imagined myself
That I am with a gorgeous woman
And now that I am

I realize now
It’s not exactly what I want
Not really who I am

She’s everything a man may want
But not this one

If I had a chance
To undo the wrongs
I have done
I would

But since there isn’t
Then there really isn’t a thing
I can do about it
Because no one can turn back the clock

21
23
25

This is what it’s all about
This is my purpose
This is my life

My only hope
My only chance
Is that there’s a shining star up there shining down on me
Shining only for me
Telling me that there’s still a chance
But not now
Maybe later
Maybe just before I die
Maybe when I enter the light

I intend to live my life to the fullest
To push it to the limits
Even if it’s wrong
Because after all, you only live life once

But inside
I will always be possessive
I will always want something for me
I will always want someone just for me and not for anyone else
Because to share your someone with someone else
Is like sharing the Moon
Or breaking up the mountains
Or crossing the Atlantic on my own two feet
… It just can’t be done

Ghosty was the name
I chose for me
Because I like it
But above all, because it represents me

Someone who really isn’t there
Don’t laugh
‘Cause if you are
The you really don’t understand

I am just me
This is who I am
Forgive me for my honesty
But you must understand, this is who I am

I represent the soul of a man who is dead in battle
A woman who has no hope out of a fire
A three-month-old baby dying of A.I.D.S.
That’s just it
… I am the end of the universe

So, left to you
Are two choices in hand
You take the Carrot
Or the Banana

… Personally
I would take the Banana
Something soft
I could land on

Moral of the whole thing?
Is she out there? Is she really waiting for me?
… ‘A pocket full of dreams’

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