August 18, 2004

I Sometimes Wonder Why

I sometimes wonder why

Why the Moon should not fall into the sky?
Why the Sun would not crash down into my eyes?

Why the heart does go on?
Why should we ever live on our own?

These wonders
Inside my head

They swim
In their streams
Until they’re no longer alive – but dead

I stopped to think
But that was wrong
Where is the clear weather?
In this Moon, wind and Sun?

Where can you find
The perfect one?
When are the clouds
Never hiding the Sun?

When is a table
Not full of food?
When will I ever come
To find you?

The hope is unleashed
In my dreams
But reality surprises me
With astounding things

Where you may find water
There was always a stream
But at the end of that, is there is a pot of gold?

And where you may find the Sun shining its hot rays
On a cold winter’s day
Would you come to find a hot spot?


Does not cease
To mock with me

Life is a flower
In a vase
You have to tender to its needs
To its cares

But if life is full of such dirt
And that dirt is too hard to get off the ground
Then what is the point, after all?

You plant the seeds
To bring in the trees
But rain just does not come down

Mirror, mirror
On my dull bathroom wall
Who is the ugliest, unluckiest
Man of them all?

Moving on
To another stage
Another ground

Where my face
Takes another pace
To more than just a frown

‘Take a good look at my face’
‘You’ll see my smile looks out of place’
‘If you look closer it’s easier to trace’
‘The tracks of my tears’

Simple mother
Simple father
Lonely son

Has this story
Ever gone wrong?

Have you ever seen the Sun set on the beach?
Have you ever come to feel the loneliness of the cold winter’s breeze?

Have you ever picked up a flower all by yourself
And given it to yourself again to attract attention?

Have you ever met eyes
With the one you so dearly loved
And never come close
To the one you really dreamed of?

Have you seen the Sun
Set on the sea?
Have you ever, ever in your life
Ever dreamt of me?

Simple hopes
Complicated fears
One leads to another
Reality! Lead on! I am in the rear!

If one thinks
That talking like this
Can lead to insanity

Then count me insane
For I have lost all feeling of pain
That be stands me

My life is not worth living
Nor should anyone live it for me
Oh, this tangled web
Of which we weave

‘Ask not’
‘For who the bells chime’
For they chime for me

The rivers dance
They galore
Of what I spree

The only source of life that I can never come to compare is you
You are my true savior
My true one white rose
You are the one I turn to

You are nowhere to be seen
Untouchable, unforgettable, unforgivable, unlovable
Why are you doing this to me?

You, yourself, your soul
You are a ghost to me
One of which
I feel inside of me
One of which
I miss endlessly

I suffer alone
I live alone
I will die alone

My world is black
Without you
Show yourself, come out of the crowd
Don’t do this to me

My mind can only take as much as it can
And my limits are being pushed farther to the end

I see you smiling
In a vision
With a graceful smile

To be able to visualize such a feeling

I only hope
That you are feeling
Of what my soul is bleeding

I only hope
That would look at me
Just for a glance

So that I can tell
So that I may know
So that I may finally understand

May I live to see that day
May I live to see the smile off your angelic face

May I die, and not see a tear roll down rose red cheeks
May we live to see each other in reality, not just in our dreams

My heart
Will always be

I remain
Pleadingly yours

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