Rosemary Blu

...And the single rosebud
Came up to me and said
Where have you been all these years?

I smiled
Kneeled down and replied
'Somewhere where only God knows'

The faint smile
On that face
The withered clothes
Of their mums taste

Ragged as they are
As they will ever be
The time has come
Has come for me

Striking an attack
On betrayal
The divine evil
Of that snare

I still remember her
In my bitter cold
For it is the warmth of killing her
That keeps me from striking out my tongue like a toad

Summer sunshine
Don’t runaway
The time will come
When I will have what I may

Distance to the sun
To the seas
I hope I will see you soon
For my heart still bleeds

Truly

Ghosty

Rapidly Blue

Dear princess of my heart
I miss your love
I miss your spark

I miss you
As much as the sunshine misses the rain
Where your light will guide me and help me in my vain

I am nothing
None
No better

You are the world to me
You are my pearl
A flower with a petal

Beauty rises
Among the rain
Sunshine love
Hardened by mere pain

Pain of heartbreak
Pain of fear
Pain of tolerance
Of which I could not conceal

The winter’s breeze
The cold touch
The warmth of your breath
And your love’s rush

Sunshine glue
In my heart
Rapidly blue
Love, be a spark

Solid, sound, green
Where I may see your face in my dreams

Don’t go
Don’t run
Don’t rush

Stay with me
Don’t betray me
I am your one and only love

Tears in my eyes
As the rain
Now that I feel
That you are near me again

River wide
So near
My path is unknown
Yet, it seems so clear

Princess Under Moonlit Clouds

I hope that one day
I would put a smile on your face
So that the sun may shine gracefully in my sky
And the moonlight will guide my night
And your beauty would be embraced

And you
You would be a princess
Sitting there under the moonlit clouds
Under the stars
Underneath it all
Breathing in my soul
On your call to my heart
Underneath the fathoms of the legends
Which call upon us all

Wishing
Hoping
That you have a smile on your face
Right now
Wherever you are

I wish I could see your smiling face
Whereby eternity would halt for a second
Just to let me see the trace
And when you walk
The earth shatters with emotions
The air is filled with devotion
In honor of your presence
Where you would run around, like a child, with will and grace

Maybe I was once a star in your field
Shining down on you with gleam

Off The Top of My Head

The reason to which I stopped
To believe
That there is a reason
To actually live
Is anonymous…

What emotions
I quiver
In my state
What desire
What fanaticism
What pain – Why wait?

The drive you drive
In this life
The psycho-mental barriers
Of “I’ve never had that”

Your eyes look upon everything
And everything looks upon you
Why marry? Why contraire?
Why even think k it through?

“Two hearts
May beat as one”
One day, one of them
Is going to be as lonely as the setting sun

The single nerve
In my body
Tells me
That I am a nobody

Woven ties
Head in the sands
This what
I have come to understand

The dark night
The shirt, grey
Beautiful women
Will come and go away

What power I have
Is beyond me
Only the strongest will pass
And that is not me

Why pass?
When you can surpass?
The things I try to do
To not considers the things past

Die in Rome
Or Australia
It doesn’t matter
What’s going to kill ya, is going to kill ya

So now the question is:
What’s to going to happen now?
Will it be the red pill?
Or will it be the blue pill?

I may be confused
On what to do
I may be surprised
On whom I am
Maybe I should eat nuts
Or a coke
Do you really fancy one?
My mind spoke

Writing this
Off the top of my head
On a desktop
In my room
The golden treasure
Of the talented
Is where I patched it

Now

Now that you've touched my heart
And you've touched my soul
Now that you've gone
And taken it all

Now that you're no longer
And so far away
Now you're no longer near me
Nor do I see you face

The hardest part
Was having to convince myself
That I was still in love with you

Now that you've left me
Without a word, so long ago
I know its not true

The stars can collide
The river banks can open wide
But I no longer want to hide
Because I know I won't live long to survive

Missing You

I miss you
As much as the night misses the day
Where I would walk away your grief
And make your life happier, more straight

I wish to God
That there was a star
Named after you
Blessed by you
As it intensifies in lightening because of you
Twinkling, ever so brightly, because of a hope of seeing you
With the wind in the air
And the sea breath running through and through

Bright as this sunshine day was
Bright as it could ever be
It would never be as bright
As the day I would see thee

In return to the moment
Of the star
To understand
Who you really are

Wondrous world
Of you
Not black, not pink
But blue - velvet blue

Somehow, grabbing a moment
Is like thinking of you
For one brief second
I only think of you
No matter how bad the times are
I always come back to the thought of you

Simply because
You are you

You are a true wonder of the world
Running upside down, you make my life twirl
Truly you are, a pearl

Loving you
Missing you
Where are you, girl?

Me And Who I Am

… So I am told
That there is no Mrs. Right
The future is foretold
There is no darkness as there is no light

Sitting alone in this corner
As lonely as I can be
Trying to make out my life
And how I would love for it to seem

And as I write these words
To someone I don’t even know
I just think back on my life
And how it goes

Why live life
When you can’t achieve your dreams?
Why even bother
When all your life is full of sorrows and you’re never pleased?

I imagined myself
That I am with a gorgeous woman
And now that I am

I realize now
It’s not exactly what I want
Not really who I am

She’s everything a man may want
But not this one

If I had a chance
To undo the wrongs
I have done
I would

But since there isn’t
Then there really isn’t a thing
I can do about it
Because no one can turn back the clock

21
23
25

This is what it’s all about
This is my purpose
This is my life

My only hope
My only chance
Is that there’s a shining star up there shining down on me
Shining only for me
Telling me that there’s still a chance
But not now
Maybe later
Maybe just before I die
Maybe when I enter the light

I intend to live my life to the fullest
To push it to the limits
Even if it’s wrong
Because after all, you only live life once

But inside
I will always be possessive
I will always want something for me
I will always want someone just for me and not for anyone else
Because to share your someone with someone else
Is like sharing the Moon
Or breaking up the mountains
Or crossing the Atlantic on my own two feet
… It just can’t be done

Ghosty was the name
I chose for me
Because I like it
But above all, because it represents me

Someone who really isn’t there
Don’t laugh
‘Cause if you are
The you really don’t understand

I am just me
This is who I am
Forgive me for my honesty
But you must understand, this is who I am

I represent the soul of a man who is dead in battle
A woman who has no hope out of a fire
A three-month-old baby dying of A.I.D.S.
That’s just it
… I am the end of the universe

So, left to you
Are two choices in hand
You take the Carrot
Or the Banana

… Personally
I would take the Banana
Something soft
I could land on

Moral of the whole thing?
Is she out there? Is she really waiting for me?
… ‘A pocket full of dreams’

Maybe

Maybe life wasn't meant to be like this
Maybe I wasn't meant to be who I am
There are times when I feel at bliss
And others when I feel like I am dying

Maybe the Sun would shine on me one day
Maybe the Moon would one day shine its light upon me
Maybe I'll see your smile one day
Maybe, just maybe, we'll click, and you’ll like me

Maybe the line of the past wasn't meant to be this long
Maybe the future is meant to be shorter than this
Maybe I am just thinking too darn loud
Maybe I should forget about all of this

Maybe one day, I'll find you
And maybe on that day I'd invite you for a cup of tea
And you'd smile – oh my God - what a smile
You'd fill my soul and make it at ease

Maybe this poem is just too long
Maybe the feelings I have are just too strong
Maybe I should keep my feelings to myself
Maybe, I don't know, I wish I was right about being wrong

Love Will Find It's Way To My Heart

Love will find its way to my heart.
I keep on calling out in the dark.

Find me and you will see.
The passionate lover who lives inside of me.

Tell me your secrets.
I will tell you mine.
Full moon, in behold.
Our feelings intertwined.

Catch my heart.
Don't let it slip away.
I have a feeling that this day will come.
One day.

Lakes of Summer

Lakes of summer
Winters in hide
Don’t know when I’ll be taken
This misery that within me lies

'til that day - I love you all
'til that day - my sun would have gone

I Think, Therefore, I Am

I am only me
But if you want me to be
The stars, I will

If you want me to be
The moon, I will
But don't betray me

Don't display to me one face
And then show me another
Don't lie to me
Be as honest as you can be

Live and learn
That's life I suppose
The distance to the sun
Is farther than that to my heart

I Sometimes Wonder Why

I sometimes wonder why

Why the Moon should not fall into the sky?
Why the Sun would not crash down into my eyes?

Why the heart does go on?
Why should we ever live on our own?

These wonders
Scream
Inside my head

They swim
In their streams
Until they’re no longer alive – but dead

I stopped to think
But that was wrong
Where is the clear weather?
In this Moon, wind and Sun?

Where can you find
The perfect one?
When are the clouds
Never hiding the Sun?

When is a table
Not full of food?
When will I ever come
To find you?

The hope is unleashed
In my dreams
But reality surprises me
With astounding things

Where you may find water
There was always a stream
But at the end of that, is there is a pot of gold?

And where you may find the Sun shining its hot rays
On a cold winter’s day
Would you come to find a hot spot?

Ironicies
Ironicies
Ironicies

Life
Does not cease
To mock with me

Life is a flower
In a vase
You have to tender to its needs
To its cares

But if life is full of such dirt
And that dirt is too hard to get off the ground
Then what is the point, after all?

You plant the seeds
To bring in the trees
But rain just does not come down

Mirror, mirror
On my dull bathroom wall
Who is the ugliest, unluckiest
Man of them all?

Moving on
To another stage
Another ground

Where my face
Takes another pace
To more than just a frown

‘Take a good look at my face’
‘You’ll see my smile looks out of place’
‘If you look closer it’s easier to trace’
‘The tracks of my tears’

Simple mother
Simple father
Lonely son

Where
Has this story
Ever gone wrong?

Have you ever seen the Sun set on the beach?
Have you ever come to feel the loneliness of the cold winter’s breeze?

Have you ever picked up a flower all by yourself
And given it to yourself again to attract attention?

Have you ever met eyes
With the one you so dearly loved
And never come close
To the one you really dreamed of?

Have you seen the Sun
Set on the sea?
Have you ever, ever in your life
Ever dreamt of me?

Simple hopes
Complicated fears
One leads to another
Reality! Lead on! I am in the rear!

If one thinks
That talking like this
Can lead to insanity

Then count me insane
For I have lost all feeling of pain
That be stands me

My life is not worth living
Nor should anyone live it for me
Oh, this tangled web
Of which we weave

‘Ask not’
‘For who the bells chime’
For they chime for me

The rivers dance
They galore
Of what I spree

The only source of life that I can never come to compare is you
You are my true savior
My true one white rose
You are the one I turn to

But
You are nowhere to be seen
Untouchable, unforgettable, unforgivable, unlovable
Why are you doing this to me?

You, yourself, your soul
You are a ghost to me
One of which
I feel inside of me
One of which
I miss endlessly

I suffer alone
I live alone
I will die alone

My world is black
Without you
Show yourself, come out of the crowd
Don’t do this to me

My mind can only take as much as it can
And my limits are being pushed farther to the end

Somehow
I see you smiling
In a vision
With a graceful smile

Something
Astonishing
To be able to visualize such a feeling

I only hope
That you are feeling
Of what my soul is bleeding

I only hope
That would look at me
Just for a glance

So that I can tell
So that I may know
So that I may finally understand

May I live to see that day
May I live to see the smile off your angelic face

May I die, and not see a tear roll down rose red cheeks
May we live to see each other in reality, not just in our dreams

My heart
Will always be
Yours

I remain
Pleadingly yours
Ghosty

I Only Miss About You

I sometimes wonder why

Why the Moon should not fall into the sky?
Why the Sun would not crash down into my eyes?

Why the heart does go on?
Why should we ever live on our own?

These wonders
Scream
Inside my head

They swim
In their streams
Until they’re no longer alive – but dead

I stopped to think
But that was wrong
Where is the clear weather?
In this Moon, wind and Sun?

Where can you find
The perfect one?
When are the clouds
Never hiding the Sun?

When is a table
Not full of food?
When will I ever come
To find you?

The hope is unleashed
In my dreams
But reality surprises me
With astounding things

Where you may find water
There was always a stream
But at the end of that, is there is a pot of gold?

And where you may find the Sun shining its hot rays
On a cold winter’s day
Would you come to find a hot spot?

I Miss You A Lot

I miss you a lot
I wish you were here by my side
Cuddling up in front of a fire

Love to hear you whisper in my ear
Those loving words I wish to hear
And the feel your breath against my chest
This power over me, you possess

Don't say we shouldn't
Say we should try
You never know
What might come by

This is a flower
From me to you
Blue not pink
This is how I feel because of you

Helpless when you are not around
Defenseless when you are
These feelings you stir inside of me you have no idea of
I love you, whoever you say you are

Heaven

Wonder what the world would see of me?
If I pray?
If I grieve?
If I die today?

The windows of the world. Are open now. You can see your obstacles. You can fly all around.

“I can see clearly now the rain has gone.
I can see all obstacles in my way.”

The Sun shines so bright.
Behind the clouds.
Moving it away.

The tender night.
Of which you are bound.
Will come, one day.

Sometimes
I lie awake in my bed
And just think

Why did I lose my way?
Why wasn’t I pushed back?
Why couldn’t I resist?

You could not resist the temptations. Only the strong can. Your will is weak, but your heart is strong. Thus, one day, you will understand. You will understand. That there’s a day for everything. To lie. To cheat. And even to sing. Your past is past. Your present is here. The future is to follow. Although it is unclear. What you don’t know. Won’t hurt you. Thus, you must show. That no one can hurt you.

The mind. Is a simple game. You control it. You control your way. Don’t set your foot into the dark path of sorrow. Follow the yellow-bricked road.

I have tried
And I have failed
Resulting
To no avail

What must I do?
In order to retain?
The happiness that I once had?
The smile I once had on my face?

I saw the Moon last night
High above the clouds
Swiftting slowly with its eyes
On everything around

Silver sky
Dark blue
When will I ever
Come to find you?

In one voice. In one strong voice. The world united and said;

“You are your own will
You’re your own protector
Kill or be killed
For you are your own savior”

The weakness in my heart
Became strong
The way people laughed at me
Mattered to me, no more

I could not be silent
Any longer
I can only speak the truth right now
Than to become a blunder

I stood up, with the flag in one hand. And the other rose up so high. People rushed to me to hear what I wanted to say. The reason to which I proclaim. To what I am today.

I am a human being!
Just as you are!
Just as our mothers gave birth to us!
How we live, and the way we are!

They took the flag out of my right
And tied both behind my back
They put a gag into my mouth
And blinded my eyes for that

“You’re not worthy of living”
They said
“You’re a disgrace to the human beings”
They went on to say

One of them shuffled something out of his pocket. Clicked it. Placed it against the back of my head.

“Not to worry”
He said
“I’ll put you out of your misery”
Then I was blinded

It was dark for a moment
Then I could see some light
I still couldn’t see a thing
Like darkness had called its force upon the night

I was flying
I was floating
Something was pulling me towards the light
Pulling me softly

And then there was nothing
All I could hear was some strange music

The air was filled with some strange music. I could hear nothing else. The tugging had eventually stopped. I was alone.

All of a sudden, this bright shiny light came towards me. It was fascinating. Indescribable. I could not dare myself to reach out and touch it. It was magnificent.

And then I heard a beautiful feminine voice. As if humming. Appealing to me to listen. As I concentrated, I could vaguely make out the words;

“They were wrong about you
They don’t know you”

Naturally, this came as a surprise to me, alongside with everything else that was happening. Having some kind of manner or being talking to me, or at least, I thought it was.

What are you talking about?
Who was wrong about what?

They say your inner wishes
Become your dreams
But if these are my wishes
Then I know that they cannot be achieved

“You are wrong”

How so?

“The future is in your hands
And you know
That it is you who must understand
To where your future must go”

Somehow
This got to me
How I must understand
My own needs

It’s the business of perfection
For my life at hand
How this simple process
Will help me get rid of the miseries in my mind

The river of life
Is at flow
Where it will stop
Nobody knows

I stopped trying to find out. On whom I am. I saw what a waste it was. Just trying to understand.

Then these few thoughts popped into my mind. Out of nowhere;

Go back
To whom you must be
The person inside of you
Ghosty

Heart of Mine

Dear heart of mine
And sorrow of my life
The turns have turned to be worse
The commotions we are having take me into a more darker room

The life
The sound
That I keep on hearing

Why is this so?
Why is it that this has become?
Where has it gone, this feeling?

God made Adam
And he made Eve
Together they would live
Together, until the day they die, they would always be

Now it is you
Now it is me
Now that we are apart
Tell me, where do we go from here?

'Tis the sounds
That the children hear
'Tis the day
That I will be burried beneath

Simple joys
Of the past
My heart is not a toy
Nor are you a target, or something like that

Tell me now
What will I do?
Now that God has seperated your heart from mine?
Now that you are where you are, and I am where I am?

The clouds move over
The Sun sets over
Life goes on
But my feelings get lower

I am standing now
At the edge of this hill
Thinking of what we used to do
What we used to say, back then

I see the ground
Way up from here
The only sound
That I hear is the sound of the wind

Should I let go
To life's miseries
And if I do
Who would be there for me?

Goodnight

Good night
May God bless us all
May he guide you to the peace you should find in your soul
Love is a carrot not an apple
The difference is not respect but perspective
Reach out and touch the sun
Where you'll feel the glowing warmth
Maybe one day you'll understandThat we are all just human beings

Five Reasons To Stay Alive

Five reasons to stay alive

Love
Hope
Life
God
And you

Last death wishes on a blind man’s tongue

Bear not the light
With a frightened face
For the sun cannot harm you
Where it does not rise

Life is a like a candle
One day it will wither away
And along with it
It will take you

Safe is the place
On the other side
Although it may never have green grass
You will never hear any lies

The blind man stroke his chin
Crossed his heart
Faced the sky

His eyes were as they were
But it looked as if they were searching for something
What will the heart cannot deny

The air stiffened
The man was gone
His body was there
But his soul was not

Til death do us part
I will always have a broken heart

Someday I will die
And you will not be here
I hope that day never comes
For I don’t have a blind man’s courage nor spears

Butter and cream
Marshmallows in your dreams
I am hanging by a thin line
Between reality and fantasy

Finding Your Soul

Finding your soul
On a cold winter's day
The reason to which life is
Come what may

You are alone
On an island
Where no one can talk to you
Where no one can reach where I am

I speak of wonders
I speak of dreams
I speak of love
And what it can achieve

I see you
In my dreams
I see my life
And to where it leads

I try to lead
A normal life
I try to conceive
On why she had to lie

I try to understand
Why we cannot talk about her
I try to believe
That it's in my best interest

But everytime I see a woman
Or a couple holding hands
It breaks my heart

To see what we could have become
To see the dreams we dreams
All go to dust

Simple emotions
In the heart
Complicated enough in the soul
This is how agony starts

Tell me how it will be
Now that I have nobody...?

Ghosty

Far Away

Saw you there
Today
Didn't know what to do
Or what to say

Your hair curled up
Behind your ear
The way your smile just shined through
And blinded me from whoever was there

Black eyes
Tanned complexion
Black hair
Simple linguistics, here at stake

I thought I would stay
But then I thought, hey
You wouldn't give me an eye

I was struggling with myself
I tried to compel myself
And in the end, I just got up from where I lie

I dragged my feet away
I took my heart with me, too
I couldn't tell whether I liked you
Or was it just another lusting moment that was trying to overtake me as if I was some 'love tool'

I took myself
Far away
I took myself
Far, far away

Maybe we'll meet some other day
Maybe one day I'll actually find true love, someday