The Same Confusion

I am nauseated by the fact that I cannot be with anyone worthwhile
The fact that she was always not there
The fact that she is always complaining
Sometimes I am over my ears with her
Sometimes I am drowning in her love

But what really gets me down is the fact that when I am with some friends
And they all have someone
And I am the only shmuck with no one

Riding in the wind
All alone
Wiping these tears
On my own

Simple feelings
Go deep
Wasted all these years
Over a couple of dreams

Sunset in the wind
Dying in my heart
Left all alone
Left in the dark

I hate the fact that she is not there
I hate the fact that when I do really need her to hug me, to kiss me, just to hold me
She would not dare

Rivers tamed
Lay where the summer’s sun rays
But she would give out her hand

It’s either her makeup
Although she doesn’t put up much
Or it’s her problems with this or that
Not that I care anymore, or understand

I almost fell into the whirlpool of darkness
I almost died a few times
And all she could think about was herself
And how it would affect her life

Roses are red
Violets are blue
This white rose isn’t a white rose no more
I just don’t know what to do

Deep down in my heart
There are feelings I cannot control
Anger, sadness, broken heartedness
But I am still in the dark; a blind man, an egg on a roll

I cry my heart on this keyboard
Every night
Thinking, pleading, asking myself what I should do
About this shitty life

And everytime I come to the same conclusion
The same confusion

I cannot come to a single decision
I cannot come to anything at all
My mind is blank
I even forgot my name, its Ghosty y’all

Wake up to butter and bread
Jam and marmalade
Sunshine in her hair
The scent of waking up in the morning next to her
Just smiling back at you
Looking at you
Those big brown eyes

I am dying inside
Bother mentally and physically
Doctors say that I only have 20 years to live
I really don’t care anymore
I don’t have a chance in life anymore

Every single girl or woman
I have ever been in a relationship with
Has either left me for someone else
Or been engaged in one while in it

H
J
K
L

Help me
Just
Kill this feeling, please
Let it leave me alone

Kill it with a knife
Or a boar
Something, anything
Just get it out of my way

Last words of a blind man

Let me see again
Let me breathe again
Let me feel again
Let me die, my friend