Rapidly Blue

new book update...

2008-04-06T16:05:00.003+04:00

I've been working for some little time now on the new poetry book of which I had set a deadline to be done and over with before the end of the year, inshallah.

The current temporary title for the book is 'In The Dimmest of Light'.

I'm hoping to have more material in this one than its two predecessors in terms of poetry and illustrations, also a brand new way of presentation.

Here's hoping that it would be a success.

exist

2007-03-21T04:07:00.000+04:00

Tell me why do I weep
When I smile?
Why I cry
Like an innocent child?

Every moment I try to think of a happy moment
I feel like I am empty inside
The hassles I have gone through
All through my entire life

I feel, as if though, I am unworthy of this life
I am unaware of what lies on the way to take me on it's stride

I am the sun that slowly withers away
The darkness that fills up the room when the light is switched off
I am the thought that passes through a person's mind
The anxieties of an alone, lonely child

I am the feeling that is borrowed within
I am the shadow that conceals itself to its whims

I am but the life that I live
Do I really ever exist?

The Truth

2007-03-20T00:07:00.000+04:00

I feel so much love inside
I feel like I miss you for eternity - a time
I am full of energy, flare and galore
I am so happy but my mind wants to ignore

I cherish the love that I feel
But go on with my life - with it - to conceal
For now is not a time to lose sight of the right track
For the end result to come out and for me to be able to understand

I am waking up to a new me
The one I have always wanted to be
For a lifetime to live
A soul to give
A heart forever yours
Your face, your presence, that has me standing still

Yet, I still don't understand
Why is it that you don't want me as your man
For you say you feel not for me
Nor does your heart and mind
Is it a game of agony I put myself into?
Or the truth that I am - to - blind?

I only wish for your heart and your smile
I want nothing but happiness for all your life
I only want you forever by my side
But reality bends for no one and no one should ever have to live a lie

Of all the women in the world
I only want you
You always ask me 'why'
And I tell you 'because I sense it is the truth'

Numbness

2007-03-15T23:35:00.000+04:00

The smile
That I kiss away
The child within you
That would go around and play

The life within me
That begs for you
The light that you shine
Gets me through the day

Of the laughter that I hear
Of beauty that I see
Of the smile I die for
Of the soul that I have found within thee

Change always comes
And everyday is just as it is
The beauty of love and life is like the numb(ness)
That I feel when I see you in front of me

A Brand New Beginning

2007-03-15T03:12:00.000+04:00

To the woman that ever wonders in my mind
To the loneliness that I forever confide
To the past dreams I used to have
To the cherished soul within me that would have fun and laugh

I say 'goodbye'

I also say 'hello'

To the brand new page that I am about to embrace
To the life I wish to start
To the stars that fill up my sky
To the people that say everything is impossible and never question 'why?'

I say to them
That this is me
The rebel
The fighter
The stubborn personality
That I will always be

This is my life
This is my chance
No time to cry
No time for romance

Forget the heartache
Bury the pain
Today
Is just another new day

we, the people

2007-03-12T03:04:00.000+04:00

Don't ask me who I am
Don't ask me where I've been
It's not that important
Compared to the state of the world that we now live within

We live through our dreams today
Yet we die tomorrow
We have no gain
Yet we go in vain
By killing each other

There's no such thing as peace
Unless we work on realizing the goals we want to achieve

We don't know what's right from wrong
The sins we did in the past, we do not own
The choice of life is given to us when we are born
But to speak your mind is considered a crime that we're equitted of, when we're done

The time we live in
The path we take on
Choices we don't own
But are imposed

So, you ask me were I have been
And you ask me who I am
Would you still like to know?
Would you - I wonder - understand?

suddenly

2007-03-12T02:57:00.000+04:00

Suddenly, I gain my confidence back
I am out there risking my life
Every hour, every day
Looking out with no fear and the belief of a dream

We can't live if we're not free
Life is so much more with the ability to breath

Take a chance
Take a look around
Breath in the soul
That'll try to break you down

The choice of life has been down to me
I choose to live
To fly

To be set free
As this is who I am
This is who I will always be

defeat is not in the vocabulary

2007-03-11T13:51:00.001+04:00

I think I will postpone my latest poetry project until I have gathered my thoughts on my career, my life amongst other things.

But I will be pursuing the chance to become a writer and columnist with a free and open minded opinion in a bid towards revealing the truth.

Once things do get into a roll with me sometime soon this month, I shall know when.

Until then, I guess I am in the dark as much as you are of my future but not on my perspectives, my wants, and my solid beliefs, of which that will never change as long as I live.

For to change for something is to admit your defeat to the world unless your whole soul is convinced and adheres thereunto.

Someone Please End My Pain

2007-03-04T01:19:00.000+04:00

I want to cry
Take out my pain
I want to cry
Cry out in vain

I want to rip out my heart
Until my body can no longer feel
Where pain is a friend
With no secret to conceal

I want to stab myself
And bleed in vast amounts
Where the only choice given
Is beyond any reason to doubt

I want to cry an ocean of tears
Bare the happiness that this world concieves
And no longer become a human being
But a broken heart
A person with no soul
Only candlelight in the dark

I want to n longer exist and comprehend
Become mentally challenged so I wouldn't be able to repremend

A lonely heart
A lonely soul
A world that doesn't want to give back
A fool with horns
A choice I wish I could take
A choice I bare to my dying day

Conjucted minds of mission upon mission
A lie of a tale that takes only prisoners

I want to cry out
I want to die now
I want to no longer live
In this world I see now

Someone please end my pain..

Horizon newsletter: 1st poetic story - Change

2007-02-26T23:41:00.000+04:00

He woke up with a fear of terror. Of pain and grief and feelings that he never felt before. He woke up to the change. People he had never seen their face. He woke up from a slumber of both body and mind. Of where beauty once lay; and now ugliness leaves its trail behind.

‘I must be dreaming to see all this disaster and commotion
I have to wake up; to get up; and shake free these notions’

Of a life once past and now has changed. Of timid waves that slowly drift away. Of sadness so appealing, it takes over your soul. Of the life we know not; no longer; anymore.

He looks at the trees that were once green. That had birds perched on its branches and protected by its leaves. He looks at the shadows the Sun shuns away. He looks at the dried land of where water was once astray.

Sadness and grief fill his heard and soul. No one around to help him off the rock bottom floor.

‘Not a wind
Not a breeze
Not a cloud in the sky
To cool down the burning sensation in my feet’

The black ocean that surrounds dead meat. Everywhere he goes, he is met by grief. The morbid sense of fate that owned by man. His fault. His guilt. The consequences on which he could comprehend. The warning signs that just never ceased to end.

‘There may be seven skies that I live under
But I failed to come to terms with the responsibility that resulted in my plunder

I had chosen to turn a blind eye to the small considerate facts
Thinking that it was all a phase and that, with time, it was going to pass
I made a mistake that is unforgivable

The choices I heed, the example I lead, the future tells me now that such options, put on ground, were not indestructible’

He walks the planks of burnt wood in dismay. The life these pieces use to fortale.

‘There are no children
There is no sound

No flutter
No music
Just the smell of death, all around
I’ve seen the worst
In my days

The life I used to give
To see that one true bright day
Have we learnt nothing?
To come to such a day?

To live in the misery of our ill-choices?
The feeling of heartache vain?

I choose not to give in to this circumstance.
I choose hope and the ability to make future generations understand

Understand that it is within their hands
They hold the hope of a new future
The bounds are limitless, borders unknown
Only the mystery of our future that lies ahead’

Kneeling down, to his knees, he sees a plant that has been pulled out of the ground. He surrenders to the new will to change his future of which he has now found.

Takes the plant into hand. Gently replanting it into the Earth.

'Now, I have set a new hope for tomorrow
All that’s left is for us to see how well our unborn children learn to cope’

Rapidly Blue III: Private & Confidential

2007-02-21T03:25:00.001+04:00

Work is now afoot on collecting new pieces of poetry for my 3rd poetry book.

The current going title for the collection is 'Private & Confidential'.

I am setting a deadline for me to finish it between 6-12 months time for an early 2008 release, inshallah.

Teaser

2005-09-20T01:59:00.000+04:00

There's an article in theweek dated the 21st of September, 2005 about me talking about my previous book Rapidly Blue and my new book Wonderous World.

Enjoy reading it..

Word Verification

2005-08-30T01:02:00.000+04:00

Folks, you'll have to excuse me. But I have turned on 'word verification' option for this blog because lately there has been a spread of people who are taking advantage of the 'anonymous user' option to posting comments on blogs with indecent comments.

Basically, all you'll be asked to do is to verify after posting your comment that you're as human as you can ever be by typing in the letters you see in front of you, that's all.

It's a piece of cake..

I apologize again..

This is how I feel - How about you?

2005-07-29T00:43:00.000+04:00

I wish I could tell you how I feel
You have me at a corner unable to speak my heart out
The face I portray in front of my friends when I don't see you around
The sadness that I am filled with when all I can think of is you
You're not here
I can't speak to you
I can't even meet you
And the cards in my destiny keep on changing
The wind keeps on a-breezing
Slap me so I can wake up from my daydream
Tell me there's no luck in the future or the past
Just make me udnerstand that you're not meant for me
Rather than having me burn from inside
From looking for you
Searching for you
Thinking of you
Yearning for your presence
Longing to just talk to you
To see you
Just to enjoy the warmth that you spread when you're around
I wish I could get you out of my mind but I can't
I understand everything, by my heart doesn't; won't; and shan't

What is it that makes me lost for words?

2005-07-28T02:09:00.000+04:00

Is it the way that you just talk to me?
Or is it the way that you smile at me?
Should I close my eyes and ears, I would still see you, hear you in front of me

I fear the worst, most of the times
I fear that I will never find the true meaning to life
But when I see you and the way you behave, I believe that time can be rewritten all over again

I can't be held responsible for my emotions
Its just not possible to avoid this heart of mine
If my mind were to do that one day
I would surely die of insanity of having to take your image out of my brain

Lately
Everytime I am down
I think of you and I am up again

Why?
Because your smile will simply not die
Never have I seen a frown on your graced face

Anyone can write poetry like I can
Its the talk, that I seek, behind the pen and the pad

I realize you're still in a mix up
But what can I say?
My eyes look for you
Almost everyday

If these words are intended for something
Then intended they are
To break through the ice
That baracades your heart

Ciao?

2005-07-13T00:18:00.000+04:00

This blog is now on suspension until further notice..

A Poem About You

2005-07-08T14:07:00.000+04:00

Sometimes it’s hard to think
Sometimes it’s hard to imagine anything at all
Right now I can't imagine my life without having to talk to you or seeing you
Any day at all

Don’t get me wrong
I only feel that we easily connect as the friends or cousins we are
We needn't go any far
Believe me; these words come from the heart

Not out of being depressed or feeling sad
If ever at all, it’s because I am glad
Glad that I have someone who I can talk to freely happily and almost without a boundary
Even though that we can never be together
Right now or possibly ever, doesn't make me happy but I respect you
Don’t ground me

I have said what I said about how I feel
I am the kind of person whose feelings do not conceal
I am like what most people say an open book to be read
If you ever had the time
To read me once in a while
Let me know what you think of the author
That’s, if.. You have the time

What pushes me to you is not how beautiful you are
Nor your sizzling figure
Or your simply gorgeous smile
That makes the world pink along with you
But it’s what you have to talk about
The way you talk about it
And the way you listen, always have fun, and never seem to be depressed, ever

This is all I can say
If I pushed myself over the line, please excuse me
I only dared myself to say what's on my mind to be honest and true to you, believe me
Should you not agree with what I said
Then you can ignore it totally and just let it goes, and forget

I apologize again
I sincerely do
This is what I am
And this.. Is what I do

Dear Winter..

2005-06-24T22:52:00.000+04:00

Dear winter
Dear heart
Dear eyes
That sparks in the dark

I wish you could see what I could see
I wish you could feel what I could feel
I dare not say how I do
I dare not look into your eyes the way I want to

I would love to tell you
Eye to eye
Heart to heart
Had I the wil
The courage
The power

But to move such a feeling
Out of my body
Through my mind
By my lips
To say your name
To have your image all the time in my mind

But what can I say?
What can I do?
Behind these white sheets
Behind these semi colored curtains

I see your smile
All I want to do is smile back
And when you laugh it feels like heaven is spreading its wings on me
Although I am suffering, silently because of what is going on with me

My only wish
My only desire
Is that you would have been free as a bird

But my luck is bad
And sometimes under minded
And that's why you're so far away from me

I hide behind my smile
The tears that I should be crying
The pain I hold in my heart from the silent darkness that I am lost in
Suffering, tear by tear
Whispering, for you to bring me in

What can I say?
What can I do?
I am here for a reason
Perhaps many

Life beyond life
Scream beyond scream
Silent as a disease
Silent beyond the whispering wind in the trees

Flare upon flare
Time after time
This is my curse
This is my life as it is pointed out in the timeline

But I am only kidding to myself
Because you have heart set on someone else
And we have only just met
And I am bound to stay for all time like this

How can I know?
How can I see?
How can I put my eyes to the path?
To the way I should seek?

Raindrops
Seashells
Waves upon the sea

Some things
Are just
Not meant to be

2005-06-23T23:31:00.000+04:00

Hey folks...

I got some good news and some bad news...

The good news is that I am out of hospital (not that I have that many fans through my blog or outside - awwwww).

The bad news however is that I am postponing my book release to Autumn or Winter of this year because I feel it is a) Incomplete and b) a bad time for me to market my book at this time because it's summer and none of you would be around plus the fact that I am in no condition of doing anything about the project.

So my most sincere apologies to anyone who was anticipating the arrival of the new book. But please do keep in touch for any updates should there be any on this blog or SleeplessInMuscat .

So, see ya around..

Your Whisper Is My Joy

2005-05-30T00:38:00.001+04:00

I hear the whisper of your voice in my ear

Tended words, do I hear

You giggle

You laugh

You make my heart bounce with joy

I sit there on the phone

Hearing you out

Tears, in my eyes, from such happiness atoy

Loving words, I do hear

Expressions, from your face, I sense in your voice - I feel

When you fiddle with a pencil in your hand

What's going on your mind - I'd like to understand

The time you were smiling and wrapping your finger around with your hair

It is you, I would like to see. Your eyes twinkling, with a smile upon your face

Tears, not Drops

2005-05-30T00:38:00.000+04:00

I don't want to say anything to you anymore

You mocked at me and my heart you tore

You denied that you had anything to do with me

You said you wouldn't be the last or the first to do this to me

Yet the day shines like nothing had ever happened

And night comes over like the midnight blanket

And I cry upon my bed thinking of the times we had

And why was it, I would wonder, you never did understand

When I am alone I would stroll into the alley of my thoughts

Within me, my heart throbs

And my eyelids, the fill up with tears not drops

And I cry for you silently in my soul, but you hear me not

Now that I am alone, does your heart ever ask about me?

Or am I just another leaf, falling off an autumn tree?

The Rest is up to You

2005-05-30T00:37:00.000+04:00

How far is the sun that's in your eyes?

The twinkle that sparkles when you smile?

By the beauty which you are graced.

I smile, because of the feelings, inside me, that erupt.

Oh wonder of beauty and love that is ever to meet.

Is this the chance that I ask for or is it too soon to be deemed?

Walking statue of life

Build upon emotional tides

Where timing is impecable

You're tempted to dance with the Devil

But God is in your favor

And the rest is up to you

My Love for you is out of this World

2005-05-30T00:36:00.000+04:00

My love for you is out of this world

And I love you so much that it hurts me to see you go away so far away to a distant place. While I am here.

Thinking of you.

Dreaming of you.

Night and day.

I wish you were here.

Right beside me.

Loving me.

Holding me.

Tenderly.

I wish for you all the happiness in the world - because my love for you is out of this world...

My Eternal Valentine's

2005-05-30T00:35:00.000+04:00

I saw you one day
I saw you smile elegantly
I saw your beauty being dangled like a boat upon the seas

I saw the blue ribbon on your hair
I saw the light that shines off you like moonlight in the midnight air

I saw you and I thought 'What an Angel'
I saw you and my heart pounded increasingly leaving my senses fabled

Brown eyes, black hair
The truth - the beauty inside her heart
Injected by inner beliefs
Tender loving moments - will she ever help me out of the dark?

I wake up to the noise of the people around me
Destined to be alone? I hope not. I hope one day she would surround me

Living the daylight in my dreams
Reality, will one day, be achieved
Senses to touch, to smell, to breathe
You, my love, are my eternal valentine's - the one single beauty, I would always be there for thee

Is It You?

2005-05-30T00:34:00.001+04:00

How far is the sun that's in your eyes?

The twinkle that sparks when you smile?

By the beauty which you are graced

I smile because of the feelings inside me, that erupt

Oh wonder of beauty and love ever to meet

Is this the chance that I ask for or is it too soon to be deemed?

Walking statue of life

Built upon emotional tides

Where timing is impeccable

You're tempted to dance with the Devil

But God is in your favor

And the rest is up to you

I find it hard not to think about you everyday

I find it hard not to fall for you

I wish I could tell you all and more

Attraction at sight

My feelings i cannot deny

Is this the truth?

Are you really the one for me?

I'd like to say I love you

But I can't

Whatever is between us

Is bigger than what love can comprehend

The delightful tone of your voice

The smile, the way your laugh twists my choice

I wish I could say I love you

But I can't

This is bigger than what love can ever be

I know this because your tag says 'made in Heaven'

But does that mean that we will ever be?

I could always call you honey

Or honeycomb

Or just plain love

But that would be an understatement of the above

I could go on 'til the end of the night

About the how, when, and why

I would search the Heavens for the answer

But in the end, the answer is in my heart

Shattered by the glass that is portrayed

I breathe in the air around me

Scent of color and stench

Dirt, I am in, covered to the skin

Sense to the touch, smell and the mind, to think

Flower upon the beach

My hand in yours in the winter breeze

Is this reality? Or a dream?

Insanely, Yours

2005-05-30T00:34:00.000+04:00

I wonder of you being alone at night

Your breath silently on the nightly pillow

Your presence in my life

Is what keeps me warm in this cold

I stay awake at night and hear you call my name

Through the window do I gaze

I see the moonlight through the glass does it shade

And yet, you are not here to share this moment with me

The blankets around me, do I wrap

The bitterness, the loneliness that makes my facely tears gasp

Thinking of you in this winter night

Do you hear my thoughts?

Do you hear me scream silently alone?

For I am forever, insanely yours

I Love You So Much

2005-05-30T00:33:00.000+04:00

I love you so much.

I will never let you go.

Not as long as there is a breath in my body.

Not as long as my heart beats for you.
And not as long as you say you love me.

For my love for you is most definitely - true

Dark 'tis the day without You

2005-05-30T00:32:00.000+04:00

In the meanwhile
I am driven to think of you all the time
Whilst I walk in the park
I see this couple hand in hand

Looking, gazing at each other smiling away
One playing with the other's hair
Speaking softly so no one else can hear
What loving words they share
I would die to feel like that again
Just to hold you in my arms once again

Flowers can die
Clouds can fly over the seas
But a person like you
I will never again meet

Blue Eyes Blue

2005-05-30T00:31:00.000+04:00

Blue eyes blue
Why I wonder I love you
Is it because of your curly hair?
Or the beautiful smile you always wear?

Blue eyes blue
Why I wonder I so adore you
You make my saddest day a happy one
God! I love you so much!

Oh wonder of beauty and love that is ever to meet
Oh how I wonder if this is all real?
I wonder if I'm living a dream
If I am, let me not wake from my sleep

Life is a child
Waiting for the next toy to play with
You are that child to me in my eyes
One to be hugged so tight
To love, to endure, to embrace
Smile upon me with your happy face

Blue eyes blue
How I wonder if you know this is the way I think about you?

A Flower Is Only As Pretty As A Flower

2005-05-30T00:29:00.000+04:00

The world revolves around so fast around

Time is without a bound

Life is just 'one of those days'

Pretty bees walking past and through

Boys and girls talk and play

Your mind's thoughts start to form a queue

Shattered glass of the past

Future to what we do not understand

How is it that life is like a maze?

Or is it all a master game?

Fever touches me high

I wheeze under the pain

And feel as if a painful rock on my chest

That holds my will to say what I want to say

But a flower is only as pretty as a flower

And the rosebuds with their intoxicating scent will endower

The very confusion that clouds my will power

And by that time I will have found out that this all written for me

Run, David, Run

2005-01-26T16:03:00.000+04:00

Run David, run
Run to where the soul never dies in the horizon of the sun
To where life gives you the joy of being by her side

When you wake up
And the first thing you smell is her scent
You just stay there in bed
Looking at her sleeping head
Wondering if this is Heaven or Hell

Jumping to conclusions ahead of time
Run David, run into the sun's eyes

The birds cheer outside
The air is still
The only sound you can hear
Is her breathing deep

'Should I get up and walk away?'
'Should I stay and let time take it's toll?'
It's funny how silly thoughts
Can start to creep into your mind and begin to roam

Run David, don't stop
Don't stop 'til you have found the one

Blue Eyes Blue

2005-01-23T01:11:00.000+04:00

Rapidly Blue 2: Nova's Secret

2005-01-17T14:36:00.000+04:00

Yes..

I'm back.. after a long period of waiting.

Had some things to take care of - literally. Ha ha ha ha.

And now that I am back I would like to announce also that I am on the verge of publishing my second book titled - Rapidly Blue 2: Nova's Secret.

It should be out by the end of February and I am hoping to reach an agreement with my sponsor to donate the full proceeds of the sales towards the Tsunami relief program.

This second book marks quite a truimph to me, not only in the literall sense, but also on a personal overview of the events that I have been through (although it may not show within the poems marked inside of the published artwork).

Pushed by the positive vibe that it holds, and the truth that it tries to unfold in this sphere which we live in, I am hoping Rapidly Blue 2: Nova's Secret will have a better chance at success if not in the personal overview much less than that of the message that I am trying to get across.

Here's to the future..

Rapidly Blue - The Book

2004-09-11T06:31:00.000+04:00

Just thought I would mention that I also have a book out here in Oman called Rapidly Blue which I compiled in 2003.

If you would like to get a free copy please contact me and I would be more than happy to send you a copy to a mailing address of your choice.

Thanks for your support!

2004-09-07T23:55:00.000+04:00

This is me at Starbucks Shatti Al Qurum and the 'gang' - left to right: Ghareesh, Me, Abdullah and lastly: John

Funniest Love Poem Ever!

2004-09-06T14:38:00.000+04:00

You’re someone special to me
You’re the air that I breathe
Without you, where would I be?

If you are the sun, I am the sea
I evaporate just like Lipton Iced Tea

You’re the one for me
You’re everything to me
You’re like rice and I am curry
We go along with spices, not honey

We would do candlelight dinners under the balcony
Where’d I’d ask you out, and you’d tell me to go to sleep

There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, dear
‘Cause in my heart, there’s only you
And when you’re asleep, I hope you dream of me
‘Cause I only dream of you

I’ll love you always, forever
Without you, I am never

Wouldn't Life Be Easier?

2004-09-06T14:36:00.000+04:00

Wouldn’t life be easier
If everyone minded their own business?

Some things are shit
Some people miss
Their own lives
Their own piss

I don’t miss her
Not anymore
Don’t know why
Don’t care no more

In the past
There was nothing to understand

Romance was in the air
I thought it was her

Now I don’t know anymore
This time it’s my fault, not hers

The Same Confusion

2004-09-06T14:35:00.001+04:00

I am nauseated by the fact that I cannot be with anyone worthwhile
The fact that she was always not there
The fact that she is always complaining
Sometimes I am over my ears with her
Sometimes I am drowning in her love

But what really gets me down is the fact that when I am with some friends
And they all have someone
And I am the only shmuck with no one

Riding in the wind
All alone
Wiping these tears
On my own

Simple feelings
Go deep
Wasted all these years
Over a couple of dreams

Sunset in the wind
Dying in my heart
Left all alone
Left in the dark

I hate the fact that she is not there
I hate the fact that when I do really need her to hug me, to kiss me, just to hold me
She would not dare

Rivers tamed
Lay where the summer’s sun rays
But she would give out her hand

It’s either her makeup
Although she doesn’t put up much
Or it’s her problems with this or that
Not that I care anymore, or understand

I almost fell into the whirlpool of darkness
I almost died a few times
And all she could think about was herself
And how it would affect her life

Roses are red
Violets are blue
This white rose isn’t a white rose no more
I just don’t know what to do

Deep down in my heart
There are feelings I cannot control
Anger, sadness, broken heartedness
But I am still in the dark; a blind man, an egg on a roll

I cry my heart on this keyboard
Every night
Thinking, pleading, asking myself what I should do
About this shitty life

And everytime I come to the same conclusion
The same confusion

I cannot come to a single decision
I cannot come to anything at all
My mind is blank
I even forgot my name, its Ghosty y’all

Wake up to butter and bread
Jam and marmalade
Sunshine in her hair
The scent of waking up in the morning next to her
Just smiling back at you
Looking at you
Those big brown eyes

I am dying inside
Bother mentally and physically
Doctors say that I only have 20 years to live
I really don’t care anymore
I don’t have a chance in life anymore

Every single girl or woman
I have ever been in a relationship with
Has either left me for someone else
Or been engaged in one while in it

H
J
K
L

Help me
Just
Kill this feeling, please
Let it leave me alone

Kill it with a knife
Or a boar
Something, anything
Just get it out of my way

Last words of a blind man

Let me see again
Let me breathe again
Let me feel again
Let me die, my friend

Sinking

2004-09-06T14:35:00.000+04:00

Now there were times when I felt sad
I needed to get back to the books of faith
And when I started to do that
I felt that there was more hurt, more pain

Too much tenderness
Makes you unaware
The more you get
The more to which you’ll swear

But, as opposed to that
You’ll wear a different hat
Each and every single day

And with that you may
Drink up of what you have left of what you have paid
And realize that there’s not one single person who cares so much of a bird’s lay

The thing is you see
What you have is not what you get
Whether you like it or not
You’re going to get what you get, like it, or regret

I Am Nobody

2004-09-06T14:34:00.000+04:00

What I do
Is nobody’s business
Not anymore

The rivers gush up
What feelings I have
The waves, the currents, roar

I am a nobody
And nobody am I
In the eyes of the world, I am reckless
In the eyes of my own mother, I am a non-mentionable son-of-a-guy

What do they know?
What do they see?
The wonderous little world
That surrounds me

My tale is not to be told
What things I have in me, what my soul beholds

Turn to me, no more
For I am non-existent, nothing, lorn

Da Weep

2004-09-06T14:33:00.000+04:00

Never mind the pain
Don’t worry about today

Some things
Are never meant to be
Whatever we have now
We must cherish or it’ll become obsolete

Why don’t we
Just forget about these things?
And just try to remember
What we don’t feel, what we don’t think

I live in a world
That is so beyond me
Never thought
I would ever to want kill the person in me

Some things
Are never meant to be
Whatever we do
Whatever we please

Now that I have said my part
Don’t weep on me my heart

Confused - Still

2004-09-06T14:32:00.000+04:00

It’s sad to know.
What you didn’t know.

A friend of mine.
Asked me once.
What do you wanna be.
When you grow up?

I thought for a second.
And answered back.
Told him I don’t know.
Where I stand.

For the first time.
I’ve finally realized.
That I don’t know what I want to be.

Sure, I’ve still got time.
But I’ve gotta start thinking from this moment, right?
Otherwise, I’d end up being a sleaze.

This is not love.
This is my career.
I think I’ve been wrong.
All these years.

Wish someone.
Could point out the right way.
‘Cause I’m dying.
Of my lonely days

Absolutely Lost

2004-09-06T14:31:00.001+04:00

Why should I waste
My pen
When no one actually reads these things?

Why should I write down
What I think
When no one actually listens?

There’s no point of building a house
With no roof
So why should I leave the ground
If I’m being stood?

Take a break from me
Then tell me if you believe
Am I the one?

If there’s no light to lead
And no one’s beside you to guide you to your needs
Then tell me why the hell should I follow on…?

Brown

2004-09-06T14:31:00.000+04:00

It looks great on you,
With your smile,
I don’t know,
Maybe it’s the colour of life

I’m trying to find out,
Something new,
But everytime I try that,
I keep coming back to you

It’s your spirit,
Your love,
It’s your passion,
That I can’t get enough of

I guess that’s why,
I feel love all around,
Now I know,Why they call that color - “Brown”

Black Cloud

2004-09-06T14:30:00.000+04:00

Black cloud
Fly over me
Run by
Into the next sea

The sea of depth
Depth of love
Where it is found
When it is lost

Black cloud
Don’t leave me alone
I need someone
To live my life with, to call my ‘love’

Someone who’ll love me
For being me
Not just because
I fulfill their fantasy

Black cloud
Tell them of my pain
How I am alone in this round
How I managed to keep myself sane

Not some fairytale
About some kid and a beanstalk
But a true one
About a heartbroken soul

Black cloud
Rain
Rain down on me

Hope this time around
That the pain I feel
Will disappear

Black

2004-09-06T14:29:00.000+04:00

Why were you,
Wearing Black today?
Is it that much,
A sad day?

I only took a glimpse,
With you walking out the door,
I thought I wouldn’t regret it,
But now I’m down on the floor

Will there be a day?
Will we ever meet?
I hope so

Some may say,
That I’m holding on to a hope so weak,
But I don’t think so

I don’t want to be seen in your eyes,
As a boy,
Who’s come with lively ideas in his mind,
And taking the girl’s heart as a toy

I want you,
To see me as a man,
Who will protect you,
Forever ‘til the end

Seeing you,
Gives me hope,
That this world has a better place,
For a dope

I kept looking for you,
In a subconscious way,
Then I saw your friends without you,
And I thought, you must’ve gone home to stay

Am I driving you,
Off my track?
Or do you want me,
To cut you some slack?

Answer me,
I want a reply now,
Don’t be afraid of me,
Just let the feelings flow

Will There Ever Be A Chance?

2004-09-06T14:28:00.000+04:00

Will there ever be a chance
To have you in my life?
To love you, to have you
All day and night

Is there a chance?
That I could be forgiven?
That you would take me
Into your guiding rhythm?

Could there be
A better soul than yours?
Will I ever believe?
Like I have believed in your love?

Can there be a time
A time to forgive and see?
That you're my light
And shining dream

There are many things in life
That fulfills one's needs
But there's only time
To actually believe in a dream

'Dreams
Can come true'
Wish that I could believe in that

If you think you can dry these tears
Or believe that I love you
Then the solution's in your hands

This is hard for me
As it is hard for you
Don't you realize?
How much I'm in love with you...?

Is There Hope For Another Chance?

2004-09-06T14:27:00.000+04:00

He’d walk through
The muddy lane
Thinking of what happened
Yesterday

The smile
The elegance
The fire
Of her presence

She was all he had
From this world
His family, his friends
They were all in blur

He found it hard
To believe
That yesterday she was there
Now she’s nowhere to be seen

Into the dry avenue
The time when he thought it was true

Somehow, there was something else about her
Something he knew, but couldn’t tell
Call it psychic, call it mental
He was digging deeper into an ever drying well

The sun hides
From the clouds
And so does he

He hides
From the sounds
Of what he used to believe

It’s things like this
That are hard to resist

Sitting down on a bench
He wishes for yet another chance

Give Me A Second Chance - Please

2004-09-06T14:26:00.000+04:00

Wish I could have.
A second chance.
At love.

Just one more taste.
Of pure romance.
That’s all I ask of.

The tenderness.
That one feels.
That loneliness.
The disease.

You stay home.
By the hour.
Thinking who you’re gonna love.
And how it feels so sour.

Is it easy.
To forget?
How we were pleased.
By the love we met?

Times have passed.
To tell us we’ve messed up.
Big time.

But all I want.
Is a second chance.
At having a beautiful life.

Love is pure.
And undeniable.
Love is the cure.
That we’d die for.

But we must not be sealed by pretences.
How we feel is how we are sentenced.

Legal is the right.
We claim for.
But love is not the type.
That you just run for.

We may bleed.
We may still be able to breathe.
But we live for love.

Our souls may grieve.
Our senses may be sealed.
But it will never be enough.

Beach Party

2004-09-06T14:25:00.000+04:00

I went to the beach.
Last night.
All night.

Trying to think.
If what I did.
Was wrong or right.

Actually.
I went with my friends.
But that’s not.
Where the story ends.

It was.
A friend’s birthday party.
He invited all of us.
To hang out and be happy.

W had.
All sorts of FUN.
At least.
Most of us.

I was like.
The odd one out.
Sitting all night.
Just lookin’ around.

I almost went to tears.
Thinking there what happened through the past years

The Beach (2)

2004-09-06T14:24:00.000+04:00

I wish I can go there now,
So I can get all this pain off my chest,
There’s a lot on my mind,
That I want to get out, so I can rest

I just love walking along its shores,
And looking into its salty waters,
While smelling it’s air

I hate having a heart that’s torn,
And not being able to talk to someone who can understand,
And not knowing that a friend still cares

If I ever get there,
I’ll just sit there on the ground,
And gaze into the horizon,
Until the Sun goes down

The Beach

2004-09-06T14:20:00.000+04:00

There’s this place,
That still lies within my heart,
It’s the only place,
Where I felt recreation start

Whenever I go there,
I feel something overwhelming me,
It’s the only place where I don’t care,
What the world has done to me

Temptation,
Passion,
You can get it all over there

Angriness,
Hatred,
This where you won’t find it - I swear

Although I haven’t seen it,
For quite some time,
I still remember it,
As the best place in my mind

I Love You

2004-08-24T14:57:00.000+04:00

When you go to sleep
When you dream through the night
When you try to comprehend
The feelings you hold inside

When you wake up
When you open your eyes
When you turn your head
When you blink in surprise

I will always watch over you
I will always love you
I will always care for you
I will always guard you against the terror of the night

When you walk the road
When you're driving your car
When walking through
The blinking lamplight in the dark

When you breathe in
When your hearts beats again and again
When you try to inhale
Will it be me you breathe in?

I am only the air that surrounds you
I am only the night that protects you
I am only the sunlight that feeds into you
I am only the love that is looking for you

I love you

What's Meant To Be Will Be

2004-08-24T14:56:00.000+04:00

What thoughts in my head linger
About future or past
What things about the present
That I don't understand

It's just a matter of where and how
The power will ever be
The time it chooses
And the place, at it's please

The whimper of a child
The smile of a lady
The moaning of a man
In his sixties, 'why me?'

The simple pleasures that we take for granted
The circumstances in which they take us
We would love control
But we don't
The life we live
Is not ours – that's what we forgot

What's meant to be will be
For time and day
What's meant to be will be
This feeling I try to understand – everyday

What Do You Think?

2004-08-24T14:55:00.000+04:00

I find myself
Thinking of you from time to time
Flash back memory
Wish I could erase it so I could get on with my life

Everytime I see a woman
A couple
Or someone like you

I am sent back in time
Thinking of the good and the bad
And it's all because of you

I have burned your letters
Your Valentine's card
Erased your photos from my PC
I no longer have in possession anything that reminds me of that 'part'

I was supposed to marry you
You were supposed to come back
Why the hell did you lead me?
Why couldn't you just tell me from the start?

I'm a fool for having fallen for you
I'm a fool now for still thinking of you

It didn't seem logical to try to commit suicide twice in a row
Now the thoughts of that idea still come and go

What do you think?

Tomorrow

2004-08-24T14:54:00.000+04:00

Tomorrow, when the Sun comes up in the sky
Will you be able to wake up and not cry?
To the sound of the birds singing your name in the sky
Deliver her to me, dear God, please, before I die

Tomorrow, when the Moon rests on the sea
And when you go to sleep
Will you dream of me?
I wish you could, so you could see how much I am suffering, without you here next to me

Tomorrow, when you pass me by on the sidewalk
Will you turn, smile, and go
Or will you pay no attention to a stranger you have never known
I wonder if you think of me

Tomorrow, when I would be admitted into the bed
When all my tears have been shed
When all my hopes and fears have gone over into the land of the dead
Do you think by that time you would know me enough to visit me?

Tomorrow lies in my heart
A twinkle, a spark, a love-rose in the pot
I will always think of you
But will you ever think of me?
I will always have you in my heart
But will you deny me the passion to be in your life?
I will always think of the day when we would pass by each other, smile at each other, perhaps even sit down and talk to each other
But would you, ever think, of the same of me?

Tomorrow lies in my heart
The past is forgotten, it’s in the dark
The present I hold in my hands
The hope of meeting you, and to love you, and that you would understand

This is the truth, which I hold
The life within me

The Minute I See You

2004-08-24T14:53:00.000+04:00

For the beauty of life
For the beauty in you
For some sense of romance
And for the truth

I can’t sit around here
Just doing nothing
Just acting like some statue
Just living in the blues

One day I’ll be living with you
Somewhere, in your heart, you will have saved me from my solitude

‘Til then, I’m still looking for you
My white rose – this rain, blue

I’d give up my sadness
The minute I see you

The Change Within

2004-08-24T14:52:00.000+04:00

The parents die
Children laugh and play
This is the life we live
And, at times, regret to this very day

Pandora's box opened
Chaos all over
I miss the greens
The cold weather and clover

Forgiven sins of our might
Man's greatest tragedy is not his body but his mind

The change within
The laughter we miss
The tears we cry
On our butter-fingered bliss

'Read a novel', 'write a poem', 'do something productive'
Is it me or are you a two-faced liar trying to send a false message?

But in the end
The tears I'll be crying will come from my heart
Because no one listens
To a rational person, or his mind, because, to them, he's dead – drained of blood

The Blind Man

2004-08-24T14:51:00.000+04:00

A blind man walks in the street
A stick in his hand from hand to heel
Holds out his hand
Waving it for people to understand
That he needs their sympathy
Not money
Their heart
And not a few Dollars

A blind man walks in the street
Late at night
Tries to find a place
To rest his mind

He has nowhere to go
No chest to be protected by
No love to be given
No smile, even if he could see with his own two eyes

This blind man
Is now dead
But his soul still roams the streets
You can still hear him ask
'Wonderous world, who will love, protect, and not run from the face at hand?'
Do you hear him...?

The Angel That I Will Never See

2004-08-24T14:49:00.000+04:00

Birds fly in the air
Fish in the sea
But an Angel like her
I will never meet

Is she a ribbon?
Is she the Blue sea?
Is she the wonder?
That will enlighten me to ease?

An Angel walks upon the Earth
Just for me
It’s the life
That I live in; that I breathe

Smile for me
Will you please?
I like to see you smile
It hurts me to see you sad, or unhappy

Would you?
Or would you not be the only one?

Could you be…
The only one

Take Me

2004-08-24T14:47:00.000+04:00

Take my heart

Take my heart
And swift me away
Into the land of freedom
Come what may

Take my soul
Put me in your pocket
Dance me around
Like the music in your dreams

Take my hand
Take me all
Take my life, won't you
Without you - I would surely fall

Take me
Take me
Take me

Take me to the land of freedom
Where you heart beats
Where I can feel your passion
Where I can fulfill your every need

Take me to where you want to go
Take me there and I will always follow
Take me and never let go of my hand
Take me, don't lie to me, because the moment you do that - the bond between us, will be stroked upon, by the Angel of death

Take me to where you smile and not weep
Take me to where you plow your dreams
Take me to the land of fairytales and not sorrow
Take me but never let me go

Take ME

S U P E R M A N

2004-08-24T14:46:00.000+04:00

I'm no superman
I'm a human being
I try to struggle in this life
I try to be me

I'm always told to alive
To stay free
To live the time
But I can't – see?

I have my problems
I have a way of thinking
I have a way in life
I try to look danger in the eye, without blinking

But I'm no superman
Although I try to be
People call me Mr. Pessimistic
But that's just me

I'm no superman
Although I try to be
I try to live to everyone's expectations
But it's as if the nations have called for the beheading of me

I try to be
Who I'm not
I try to see
But I end up wrong

I'm not complaining
I'm telling a story
A story of me
A man with no vision, no future – I'm sorry

If you want a superman
You've come to the wrong man
I'm not that kind of a person
Although I try to be that kind of a man

I could go on like this
Telling you all this crap
But honestly, truly
Why would you want to understand?

My problems are mine
Mine to keep
Mine to drown in
My eyes, they weep

Even if I found a woman, just for me
Would she understand me?
Would she stay with me?
Would she – in time – betray me?

The heavens have once clashed upon my head
And destroyed my every nerve
They told my heart to beat
And to call it 'love'

But even then
I couldn't stand it
I tried to hold it within
But now my mind has banned it

Now that life for me
Is in a late age
It's time for me
To move on again

Maybe I'll stumble once again
Upon another beautiful woman who will understand
That in her eyes
I'll always try to be… a superman

Rose Between The Thorns

2004-08-24T14:45:00.000+04:00

I wish I could talk to you more and more
To find out what you are thinking of and to spread you with warmth

I cannot tell a lie
How much I like you
This is my path of life
Would you lie to me, too?

The truth is in the eyes
The truth is in the heart
Burdens touch heart and soul
The never ending search for a rose between the thorns

Personally Speaking

2004-08-24T14:44:00.000+04:00

Beyond the flower
The bed of the sea
The beating heart
That beats within me

I wish I could sleep
All I ever think of is you
I wish I could just dream
Of your image, of your love that would shine through

I cannot sleep the night
When you are not here
I cannot think in the daylight
I cannot eat, nor drink, not even smile a happy face

I wish you were here
Even though you broke my heart
Three years ago

I wish I could see you here
Hold you, or die in your arms
But it seems this thought will never let go

You're not the night to me anymore
You're not the sunshine that would shine on my face
You're more like a drug that I need to get off
You're the blistering memory that grinds in my head and makes it ache

Every kiss we ever had
Was a fake
Those two Valentine's we had
All you had wanted was your own way

Now I am here
All alone
Because of you

I am wondering
Fathoming
Pondering, that should I see you, should I shoot you or stab you, or strangle you 'til you choke out last breath in you?

Its too bad I can't post your pic
It would have been wonderful to show the world how beautiful THORNS can be
But I will resist
The time will come when I will find another love for me

Passion into dust
Fire into ash
This memory will never go
And no one will ever understand

HAPPY VALENTINE

My Reality

2004-08-24T14:43:00.000+04:00

Life is life
A question left in the heart
Let the mind wonder about it
Let it try to break the ice, for a start

Apples on trees
Too red, too green
My reality is fixed
Upon one dream

One day
You'll pull through the fog
Like a rainbow in the rain

One day
I'll see
Your face

Would you be everything I wanted you to be?
Who knows?
Would you be the way I dreamed about you?
I don't think so

My heart
Is a flying bird
I am tired
I want to get a girl

This poem is intended for those who understand
Those who don't can just go away instead of trying to comprehend

My idea of love
Is first attraction
Develop a friendship
And you have mental satisfaction

Other things
Will come my way
How soon?
I don't know really when, to say

God, I miss being in love

Like A Wildchild

2004-08-24T14:42:00.000+04:00

Like a wildchild in the summer haze
Smile upon me and embrace
Your laughter will turn my sadness into happiness and everyone will smile catch it through a phase

Second tulip in the row
The rose next to it will never grow
Unless you smile and let it go
Tomorrow is another day don't let your pain ever show

Rain will come one day
And black clouds will fill up the sky to make more rain
You'll stand outside and get soaked wet - but who cares anyway?

One day you'll go back on these memories one day
And say to yourself, I wish I could do these things again someday
But unfortunately God has taken it all away
Why? You ask? I wouldn't know. And right now, I wouldn't care anyway

But I will say this:
A smile is a smile is a kiss
Gentle and light on my cheek on my lips
A warm hug, an I LOVE YOU
I cherish the life that I will always have with you

My heart is yours
The scent of love is contagious when it’s your eyes I look into
Sun goes down, the Moon arises
But never will there ever be time without you with surprises

Kiss Me Before You Leave

2004-08-24T14:41:00.000+04:00

Kiss me before you leave
Rub your hand in my hair
Wash away the gloom in that corner, that glare
Hum to me as if I were a child
Sing to me as if I were to die

Kiss me before I go to sleep
Read to me the story of Romeo and Juliet
Where lovers met because of their desire and created their own fate
Love me there and then
Where happiness is never-ending

Wisk me away with your hands
The softness you hold
The warm heart, the beautiful features, of oh so many, into one mix of you, they mould

Kiss me before I go sleep
Don't deny me of this passion, the sweetest of dreams

Just A Dream, A Wish

2004-08-24T14:40:00.000+04:00

It was dark

I could only make out an image of what could have been a figure

I saw the light that it was leading me to
I saw the face behind it, too
I saw your eyes and I was glued
I saw you and I knew that this must be a dream, because I haven't met you

I heard your voice and it was soft
I heard your voice as if a whisper
I heard your voice and I called it love, too soon to hinder
I heard you and I said to myself 'let me not wake up from my dream - ever'

I felt your hand on my face
I felt the warmth of love, which, I wish to embrace
I felt your smile through your hand as it passed on the summer love with all its grace
I felt you and I wished to God that I could feel it all over again

I woke up, suddenly, in my bed
A tear in my eye, a frown on my face, not a smile
I was in hospital tied up with many wires
Blood, agony, and a restless fever in my eyes
I only wish you were here to ease my suffering tonight

Let this Valentine's be new to me
Let the agony be gone and set me free
Let the wind fill me with the strength of your love beneath my feet
Let me stand so I can call out your name, let me see your face again, let me once again feel the love that I am deprived of, please

I love you - whoever you are
I wish you a happy Valentine's and much happiness - where-ever you are

Isn't This What Your Heart Wanted All Along?

2004-08-24T14:39:00.000+04:00

Isn't this what your heart wanted?
Isn't this what you wanted all along?
Isn't this the type of Devil you really are?
The one, who, wrecks hearts and homes?

Aren’t you the type to break a man's heart?
And send his tears through the tap?
Aren't you the type to distinguish that spark?
To have it your own way? To make him look like a baby without the decency of giving him the opportunity to understand?

Kill the messenger
Kill the hope
Kill the undying need
Of love in this soul

Kill me
Kill my heart
Kill my hope for a white flower
For a light in the dark

Hang me from a tower
For everyone to see
What the hope of finding love
Has done to me

Search my veins
Search my head
Search my hands
All you'll find are traces of a hope that is dead

Burn me
Burn me
Burn me and this lighting desire

Shoot me
I no longer want to live
With this loneliness that I live everyday, which I silently cry out

May God take my soul
Before I do it myself
May God forgive me
For thinking like this

Happy Valentine's

2004-08-24T14:38:00.000+04:00

Is it right for me to see your smile
And not be blessed by it?
Is it right for me to see you pass by there
In the most beautiful form, and not complement it?

Is it right that you should walk on and not know that I am there for you?
Is it right that I would see a red rose and could not give it to you?

Would it be right that you are somewhere so far
That I don't know where you are
That I cannot feel your compassion for the passionate person you are
And still live on with my life as it is?

Is it right that you love someone and you don't know who
That everyday passes by and you gain loneliness and solitude
And pass everyday as if there will be something else new
To happen, like the sight of having to see you?

Is it fair - ever - that you should pass out on the chance
That you should try to flirt with a woman in order to understand
Whether you're a pig, an ass, or purely gentleman

That she would love you for you are
Not because of your appearance and how skinny you are
Or because of the way you hum to every song
And how annoying it is not to get the attention you need while she is on the phone

My heart holds the love we need
My life is a root, water it with love - please?

In The Depths of My Soul

2004-08-24T14:37:00.000+04:00

In the depths of my soul
In the relics of my goal
I know not what I should do

I know only that I must get up everytime I fall
I know that everytime my heart breaks that I must laugh not cry
I know that everytime I hold pain in my heart that I would crack and with that, my life would be gone

Life for me is a matter of chances
Like my dreams just a matter of glimpse
Glimpses of my past
Glimpses of my future
And the life I live in the present

Turn out to be my present
Turn out to help me in my future
Kill my past and let me live on

A flower will always be a flower
The weather will always change but I will endower
Sunshine will come out one day and I will laugh like a baby
When I see you, with that smile for me, which you won’t deny me

When?

2004-08-24T14:36:00.000+04:00

As the sun dawns over the mountains
Beyond my window
My eyes fight
To open up in front of the screen

I think of my life
I think of the moments that when
My life used to have
A meaning

I turn and gaze
I smile and smile again
I look at my mobile phone
I tip sip off a 7up can and not COKE
And I remind myself it'll all be over soon

When will I see you?
When will stop being alone?
When will the nights stop being so lonesome?
When will phone bills go through the roof once more?
When will I see you?
When will I turn away?
When will the thoughts that I have just turn away?

I have a TV
I have a digital receiver
I have a PC
A hard drive and a printer
I have two game consoles that I don't use
It's the same with my heart and my mind, technically, if only you knew

I have a mind
A wonderous mind
A hand-watch, actually five
What good is time if I can't have you in my life?

I have everything
And nothing
I have the world at my fingertips
But no one to share it with

This must be the reason that God made Eve for Adam
They call me Ghosty, you must be the Phantom

When will I see you?
When will you come my way?
When will you make me stop asking so many questions?
When will you just kiss me and say "it's ok"?

When?
When?
When?

I Would

2004-08-24T14:35:00.000+04:00

I would love to see a smile
Just for me
A flirt, a wink
Or maybe, a beautiful woman, calling out for me

I would gladly be knocked out by a guy
If it was his sister, I was flirting
For he has no idea
That it is her soul, which I have been searching

I would love to wake up in a hospital bed
All bruised up, breathless and almost paralyzed
If it meant to
That I would be waking up to her eyes

I would love to walk with you side by side
Eye to eye
Hand in hand

Or if you want
A glass of ice cold Coke
A candle in a darkened room, and two straws – just you and me

All I am trying to say
Is that whatever I do
I would
Love to do it with you

From Woman To Man

2004-08-24T14:34:00.000+04:00

A woman
Is a woman
Is a Goddess by my measurements

A man
Is just a man
To her heart and the following revelations

I would like to understand
The how and whys
And then go on to know
That it is you who is resembled all over the sky

Shattered, my heart, will be
From remembering the loss of you, for me
At the mere mention of your name, I cry, I weep
And when I am asked 'Do you still love her?' I hold my breath, silently

Turn the hold that is within my heart
The bridge which I crossed, over the lake, at the park
The love I no longer hold, the emptiness in which my feelings starve
No moonlight, no sunshine, no angle, no hand, no spark

This is a moment I am asked to overcome
This is a time, whereby I am told to walk through and not to run from
Be it in the rain or the blazing sun
I would never forget that 'one'

Just Another Beating Heart

2004-08-24T14:33:00.000+04:00

Another flower gone into hiding from the winter breeze
Another sunset gone into the mellow tides underneath my feet

Another feeling of sadness sinking into my depressed soul
Another question in my head; “Where has it all gone?”

You wish the time you have at your hands
Was driven away
By long walks, short calls
Meeting on a date

But you’re all alone
With no one to call your own
No roses, no happy birthdays
No public tea breaks at a cafe

Some call it a longing for romance
But then again: what is romance?

A walk in the park?
Or perhaps on the beach?
My hand in your hand?
Or lovers eyes at gaze across the street?

Put your hand on your beating heart
Tell me what it says
‘Call them’
‘Call them today’

Attraction

2004-08-24T14:32:00.000+04:00

As the darkness looms over the sea
As the rhythm beats in my heart, in my soul, as I sleep
I dream of you, dream of me, and dream of us being happy

As the day passes by
As the sun stands-by in the sky
I think of you, I think of me, I think of us, hand-in-hand walking on the beach

Do I do this to torture myself?
Do we live alone in this universe?

Does my heart beat for no one at all?
Are you a ghost, just as I, unknown to the world?

Sunburn in my soul
The thought of meeting you withers in my mind
Tell a story to the child
This is attraction, love, at first sight

Beyond The Questions of The Mind

2004-08-24T14:31:00.000+04:00

In a time of death
We all feel sorrow
Where there is no hope
When we feel there’s no tomorrow

In a life we live
Where time passes by
In a relevance to the mind
And the thoughts that drive us nuts by night

Deliver the frustration to the morning
Where we reach the sunrise with a yawning
When we live to grow old and ask why
Why ever this life? Why for God sakes, why?

Why move on to the next day?
Why lose hope and regain it again?
Why go to sleep and dream?
Why live your life when it is not to your please?

Beyond the night
Beyond the stars
Beyond the living soul
Of which our body will part

Beyond the clouds
Beyond the air
Beyond the breath
And the scent of a woman so near yet so far
Beyond the headache of driving your thoughts into a minded brick wall
Beyond the trash, beyond the corruption of the soul
Beyond the concept, beyond our goal

A white flower
Will only bloom for so long
And it will only rain for such a short while
And you’ll only live for a little over 70 years and die
And by the time you’re dead, you’ll think either ‘I’ve done what I’m supposed to have done’ or ‘Why?’

But will you confront yourself with the woman in your life?
Will you find the true heart by the time you are left high and dry?

Questions – more of which controls not the body, but the mind

Wedding Anniversary

2004-08-24T14:30:00.000+04:00

Today I saw two pigeons cross their beaks
I remembered you
I saw the clouds in shapes of hearts
And it reminded me of you

You could be here
You could be there
You could be anywhere
But you would be in my heart

I hope that this day, you would cherish
The love I hold for you is plenty
Wishing you endless happiness
On your wedding anniversary

Wild Thing

2004-08-24T14:29:00.000+04:00

I'm feeling wild
I'm feeling free
I feel like a child
Set amongst the greens

Come out the sun
Laugh with me
Rivers bursting with laughter
Chase with me my dreams

Under the moon
Under the stars
Under the wild oceans
Of the clouds

Under this skin
Under this brain
Under this heart
Is me, happily insane

I'm feeling wild
I'm feeling free
I feel like a child
Set amongst the greens

I only wish I could give this feeling to you
I only wish I could pass it on to you
But I'm sure
That this feeling of happiness is just as contagious to me as it will be to you

I'm feeling wild
I'm feeling free
I feel like a child
Set amongst the greens

2004-08-20T02:39:00.000+04:00

And this is me

You'll See Me

2004-08-20T02:07:00.000+04:00

You'll see me walking on a lonely shore
You'll see me walking along under the lights of a lonely street
You'll see me crying an innocent tear because I'm alone
You'll see me; you'll think you're no use for me

What do I say?
What do I do?
What am I to achieve?
If I don't have you?

Cinema's no good
Beaches are no fun
The ride in the car without you
Makes me feel more bored

Who wants sunsets?
Who wants sandy beaches?
Who wants a chocolate cake?
Who wants the rain?
Who wants a night in the winter air?
All I ever wanted is to have you

I know these are just words
And they'll never reach you no matter how much I try
But these are my wishes, my dreams
Why? Because you are my life

You Could Be Here

2004-08-20T02:02:00.000+04:00

You could be here
Right in front of me
Or walking down that lonely street

Should I be missing you
Or anticipating your arrival
I don't know where to begin, really

You could have been the girl driving behind me
Or another beautiful one smiling and flirting at me
Really I wouldn't know, but I am in desperate need of thee
Would I be a clown? Or really serious? I really wouldn't know, but for you, I would be anything

If I couldn't laugh, I would cry. If I couldn't live, I would die
If for you, I could stand the test of time
To be more patient towards you To love you
To understand you To respect you
And not to underestimate you

Thinking of you, all the time
This is how I think of you - line after line...

Wonderous World

2004-08-20T02:01:00.000+04:00

I wonder what you’re wearing today
I wonder what flower you look like today
I wonder how your pearly eyes twinkle and sway
I wonder how you’ve styled your hair today
I wonder whom you’ve met, and what, to them, you say
I wonder if it is, ever, about us, you think, anytime, any day
I wonder if you ever think about getting together, for tea, or breakfast, one day
I wonder if you’ll love me, when we meet, all along the way
I wonder if I’ll ever find you, ever – one time, one day

Where The Moon Is - The Sun Is Always There

2004-08-20T01:59:00.000+04:00

There is no path set for you and for me.
It seems so sad, but what can we do? This is the way it will always be.

I fear the future, I am scared.
That I will not find you – a thought of which I cannot dare.
For where the moon is, the sun is always there.

A simple tear – everyday.
Fate? Let it be, come what may.
Sunrays in my eyes, the beauty that will come one to me and say:
Here I am; the truth; you have given, and now you take.

Trees are trees.
Dreams are dreams.
Clouds are clouds.
Seas are seas.
But are you just a fantasy...?

When You See Me

2004-08-20T01:58:00.000+04:00

When you see me
Don't make a modest smile
Don't wink
Don't tease me
Because I don't want to be hypnotized by your eyes
Inspelled by the beauty in your face
And the remarkleableness and complexity in which God has created your grace

When you see me
Don't take pity on me
The hunted cavalier
'Drive by, do, or dare'
Someone as beautiful as you, definitely has someone in mind
Or maybe somebody is already in line
Love lasts for all your years - would you, or someone such as you - be there in time?
I'd rather not live another lie

When you see me
Just pass by
Make it look as though you never even noticed me
'I'd rather eat a day's old pair of socks and die!'
Walk on by
Wonderous you
Whom you make me black and blue
Whom I never cease to exist in front of you
Brown eyes, true love never dies
For this is the way that it is meant to be

Wax Fruit

2004-08-20T01:56:00.000+04:00

Love don't hate me
Don't make me cry out in the dark my pleads
I'd rather have myself dying
Than crying for your needs

Love don't clutch at my soul
As you are right now
My has no goal
Because I have convinced myself that it is you I should be surround

What good is the table?
If the food is all wax?
What good is life?
Without you in it?
What good is your heart?
If there's no one to understand?

They Told Me To Shut Up

2004-08-20T01:55:00.000+04:00

They told me to shut up
They told me not to say a word
They told me it would be over
It would be over very soon

The darkness in this hall
The room they put me in
The window and the bars
The paleness on my skin

Tears down my cheek
I closed my eyes
I wondered if this was all a dream
I wish I could wake up from this fright

A hand on my arm woke me up
I stared into the darkness and two eyes
Both were sad
Both were gonna cry out like a child

My mother held me close
Told me it was gonna be alright
Told me that there should be nothing I should be afraid of
That she would be there for all my time

The Starbucks Moment

2004-08-20T01:54:00.000+04:00

Vivid moments of pleasure
Taste the delicacies and feel the delight
Starbucks is the only place where you can
Taste the true blend of coffee; morning, noon, or night

Come in, sit down, have a chat
Taste our Frappuchino, Coffee Latte’s, or tea
Enjoy our friendly mellow atmosphere and staff
Or just listen to our selection of jazz and R’N’ B

One way or another, you’ll find out that Starbucks is different
Live your life easily and come in and enjoy the ‘Starbucks moment’

Rythem of The Night

2004-08-20T01:52:00.000+04:00

Rythem of the night
Be silent, be still
I have long favored the winter air
The breeze it is with filled
Life is complicated
My mind is obstructed
By the many problems with which it is surrounded
Lifeline of time
Beauty of the night
The feeling of not being able to make it
I breathe you in
I live within you
Rythem of the night
Be still, be true

Smile

2004-08-20T01:51:00.000+04:00

Smile into my eyes
Smile away the blues
Smile away the sighs
The way I remember you

Smile into my heart
The way it used to be
Smile again into my life
Don't let me drown in these tears

You are so deeply missed in my heart
In my mind, I hold your spark
'Tis to this day, that I possess your love
A never-ending tale, of two lovers, in a park

Life Is A Flower

2004-08-20T01:49:00.000+04:00

When you are weary
When you think the end is near
Life grows on
Life gives plenty to change

Riding down the tunnel
A black window, blue window too
You would see my marks
And probably hers, too

Dive into the clouds
Slip through like air
Its no wonder
You're still here

Petal by petal
Piece by piece
Think of life as a flower
Nourish it, won't you please?

Dear God

2004-08-20T01:47:00.000+04:00

DEAR GOD,

I ASK THAT YOU GUIDE MY SOUL
OUT OF THIS WHOLE

I ASK THAT YOU FORGIVE ME
HELP ME REDEEM MY MISTAKES
GUIDE ME TOWARDS THE LIGHT
SO I CAN FEEL YOUR HEAVENLY GRACE

DEAR GOD

I ASK THAT YOU FORGIVE MY PAST MISTAKES
I ASK THAT YOU HELP ME STAND UP TO WHAT I SHOULD FACE

I ASK THAT YOU HELP ME GET BACK MY HEART AND SOUL
THE VERY THINGS THAT I’VE LOST BECAUSE I TOOK THE WRONG ROAD

DEAR GOD

I ASK THAT YOU OPEN YOUR DOORS TO ME
AND THAT YOU HELP ME SHATTER MY PROBLEMS TO SMITHEREENS

DEAR GOD

I KNOW I COULD WRITE A MILLION WORDS TO YOU
AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM WOULD BE TRUE

MY HEART IS SHATTERED INTO A MILLION PIECES
BECAUSE OF MY SINS
I DON’T KNOW WHETHER I WILL GO TO HELL
OR TO HEAVEN

EMPIRE UPON EMPIRE
WORLD UPON WORLD
I KNOW IT IS UP TO YOU

DOWN FROM HEAVEN
UPWARDS FROM HELL
I ASK THAT YOU HELP ME ON THIS EARTH, TO HELP ME BECOME TRUE TO MYSELF, TRUE TO YOU

DEAR GOD

I KNOW THIS IS JUST A WRITTEN PRAYER
AND I DON’T KNOW WHETHER IT WOULD COUNT OR NOT IN YOUR BOOK
BUT I HOPE YOU WILL ANSWER THIS PRAYER
FOR I KNOW YOU ARE MERCIFUL, LOVING TO YOUR SUBJECTS – ALWAYS WANTING FOR THEM WHAT IS GOOD

AMEN

Call Me Up And Make Me Smile

2004-08-20T01:45:00.000+04:00

Call me up to say hi.
Call me up to ask me how I am and why.
Call me up just to say that you miss me and not need me.
But don’t call me up to say ‘Bye’.

If I can’t listen to your sweet voice then at least let me see your eyes.
Where passion lives without a lie.
Where the moon and the sun lie.
And where beauty is never denied.

There is no vision without you by my side.
Life, without you, is just a lie.

To know your beauty, I want to understand your smile.
Where dimples come up, and make your eyes twinkle in the light.
Call me up – please, and make me smile

Angelica

2004-08-19T23:22:00.000+04:00

She wore a blue ribbon on her hair
It would fluff around when she would dance through the air

She danced like a baby
Being happy and all
She was full of it
God! I loved her smile. I loved her all.

Written with the passion of love
And inspired by your beauty
This the truth
This is a true love story

She fell from Heaven because she was meant for me
I felt inspelled by everything on her; from eye to knee
You would have too, believe you and me
Angelica was her name, and angelic in her nature, she was, truly

Now she's gone
Don't know where
This is my story
Of my life's only care

Angelica, if you read this - I love you so
This is all I ever wanted you to know

You Have Left Me

2004-08-18T01:19:00.001+04:00

You have left me
To this cruel world
To live alone
Like a caveman hiding from a hunter in the cold

You have put my love
On trial
The way you shut me out
The truth that you deny

Two years
Was nothing to you
The things we have done and seen
Now because of you, I am truly blue

Too blue
To see the world
In an optimistic eye

Too blue
To taste the true taste
Of life

Why have you thrown away my heart?
The lies that you told me I hold on to and cry at every night

Sometimes I wish
That you had killed me
Instead of having leaving me like this

Why you had to go
And do what you did
It’s a curse, not bliss

I should be dead
Not alive
How I dreamed of being in your arms
Oh so many times

Why?
Why?
Why?

Why are you so wicked?
Why all the lies?
Why tearing up my heart?

Now I am alone
Now I die slowly
Now the world can collapse on me
And I wouldn’t care

This birthday will really be different
Now that you are gone
Maybe I can commit suicide with a free mind
Because I have lost my soul

Wonder

2004-08-18T01:19:00.000+04:00

My mind is wondering about you
Would you make me a happy man, or more blue?

I don’t why
I am taking it this way
I haven’t talked to you, or heard from you
Or even seen your face

Maybe I am
Blowing it out of proportion
But if I am
Then why all this sudden happiness and loving notion?

I have only seen your picture
And already I am obsessed
Perhaps I am acting childlike
Perhaps it is a test

A test to see
If I am worthy of such a thing or not
To try to believe
That life can make you make happy and not

True to myself
I try to be
Wonderous questions
Always seem to swim in my sea

If I am not what you want
Take it easy on me
For I have been slaughtered a thousand times
By women, who have kept me on my toes and turned out to be thieves

I do hope
I do wish
I don’t know
Could someone send out a sign, please?

All I want
Is someone to love
Someone to care for me
Who will not betray my trust

Will that day ever come?
I am not sure
It’s like the weather that we always have on the outside
You never can predict what’s going to happen in the future

White flower
Silver petals
Spark in my heart
Dying of this riddle

Torn Souls

2004-08-18T01:18:00.000+04:00

Ghost at my path
Things I may never come to comprehend

The beggar at the streets
The children’s tears
How much more will we be silent?

Defenders of the faith
We are ones who know of the pain
Dare you, to mute yourself, against the children’s crying?

These pictures
We see
The motions
We seek

I was born free
I will live free
I will die a free soul

To those who think they are weak
To anyone who thinks they are not of need
How do you face this call?

The call of the innocent
Who howl out of pain
Who’s skin, soul, lifetime’s memories
Have been torn away

We sit in our homes
Silent tears
When will we ever overcome
These silly, stupid, fears?

I see myself
Among fighters
Thrashing away
At those who attempt to steal my lifetime’s possessions

Rebel soul
Nothing less, nothing more

The secret of life
Is to live each day at a time

Plan ahead
You may
But don’t be surprised
If one day, your plans are changed

The heart
Can only belong to one
Take your time
To find that ‘one’

Don’t cry at my words
Do something for our world

It’s never too lateTo stop the pain

There Is No Reason To Smile

2004-08-18T01:17:00.001+04:00

There is no reason to smile
Anymore
There is no life
No spring in my bottom
No galore

Life is life
As atrocious as it may be
The things I used to love and like
Have all gone. Now, it's just me

I might as well
Just hang off my head
What good is life
When you live as if you are dead?

Negligence to soul
To me
To my life
The things I need

You say
It is just a phase
I say
It is a lot of pain

Give me morphine, anytime
I don't wanna live this kind of life

The Truth

2004-08-18T01:17:00.000+04:00

Loneliness grasps at my heart
Digging deeper into my emotions making me cry out in the dark

Freedom is the light to where your heart breathes
The feeling, the passion, a lifting – an 'ease'

Love is a tale to be told
Forgetting the heartbreaks and mixing in with the mould

Hold out your heart
At bay
Keep wishing
Come what may

Lovers gaze at one another
Friends love each other

But I am merely a person who has been in line for years
Waiting for the other true half of me

Taking My Life

2004-08-18T01:16:00.000+04:00

Taking my life
Into my own two hands
With this knife
I think of why is it I stand

Sitting here
Thinking of you
Then thinking of what I am writing
Through and through

Simple words
You say to me
Make me stop
Make me think
Make me stare

I stopped thinking about her
From time to time
Because of what you said to me

I printed out your email
Not because of your poetic lines
But because I believed in thee

I even have two copies
One at home
One in my car…

But I stopped thinking about anything good
Permanently
Girls, I see
Bitches - maybe, too
But no one as sweet
As sweet as you

I try to keep myself on track
I try to make myself understand
That it is I who is in gain

I try to look onward and see the sun shine
Where the glow keeps glowing, never hides
But all I ever feel is rain - cold bitter rain

Not the type
That I love
Not the type with the blowing wind
But the type that just keeps pouring down on you
Until eventually, there is no more

It is that day – the one that has no more
That I am looking for

One day
The sun will shine my way
And I will need MIB sunglasses to get over them
Because they’ll be shining for me

Telling me
This is your day
You are the ghost
You are Ghosty

You will live on
You will understand
This is life
You have Hods to help you at hand

This is a phase
For if I fail
Then I am no better than she is
The pain
That I am feeling is cold, can’t explain it because it’s bitter

Sunshine
Come my way
Let your sunrays
Shine on me

Lead me
To the one who will truly love me for me
Lead me
To my happiness and to accomplishing my dreams
Lead me
To the white rose that truly exists on this Earth
Help me
Keep my friends - whether they like it or not

White roses
Red roses
Yellow, too

This is how much
I am missing
The one who is making me all sad and blue

I love you
Wherever you are
Whoever you are

And yes
To answer your question
A woman is all my life, love, and heart

For without her
I cannot live
Without her
I cannot exist

Words?
Maybe, true

But to me
I am willing to make it my reality
Even if it means that, I would die for it